“I’m just a lazy person at heart,” my husband said,
leaning against the deck railing.
The red sun crosses the bridge of his nose.
People laugh, they think he’s joking.
And the midday sun is hot.
Their reaction isn’t wrong—
so maybe I want him to sing a new lyric,
I want him to say: “I value my free time”
or, how about, “I am a lion” (that would make sense in the heat haze)
or—
or “lifting is a kind of sutra that brings me peace”
or “I don’t believe in hierarchy” (shimmering in the air near the
ground)
or “when I am inspired I can tinker for hours on a bass line,
and I can read or discuss big ideas forever, but the dollars
are not raining down for the things I enjoy” and/or—
or “for example, a clean house is something our dyed-blond
neighbors
open up new credit lines for, but I will neither get paid
to wash my floors nor do I value hygienic tiles
above playing acoustic guitar, so I choose
to play soccer with my kids and read sports-humor blogs”—
or even “I love you but your tingle is not my tingle”
or “you require a level of occupation
that could undermine my entire existence”
and quote the Buddha:
“Previously, as well as now, I reside in the fullness of emptiness—
empty of elephants, cows, horses, asses—
empty of dealings with gold and silver—
empty of groups of men and women—
and there is only this
that disturbs the emptiness—”
to the neighbor whose attention wanes, who asks him
“what’re you doing this summer?”
he could just pause
and perhaps inquire, “what do you like to do with your off hours?”
and continue to recall the Buddha, who said:
“—emptiness—that is, the vibration rising off the beggars here—
a beggar pays no attention
to the disturbances of the city—
pays no attention to human beings—
pays attention
only to the vibration of the forest floor”
and in the lake, shaded by oak trees, watch our boys splash in the
pond
as the picnic ants busily construct a hill to escape the sun.
(The Buddha quote is adapted from “I, Ánanda, Live in the Fullness of Emptiness,” translated from the Pali by Michael Olds, on Buddhasutra.com)
