my mother asks the pronouns of my crush
as a courtesy, knowing which one she prefers.
this gives her hope, girlchildren to aspire to
nevertheless a persistent stinging, ringing
smoke above the vibrations of the words we
speak to one another. i don’t kiss using the same
tongue i confess in, my teeth always chattering
away a girlhood dispossessed.
always remember: she the accommodating one
i basketcase know-it-all split between all divinity, fully spatcocked over glowing coals; i expose my beating muscle to the flame and the flame of course, doesn’t hold the salt of me doesn’t cook the meat into anything tender
ain’t no thang cut muscle deeper than a Black mother’s refusal me, an expensive lesson in expectation — gluttonous in my shameful desire
i confess, i prefer fruit.
in the eveningtime, when the heat becomes bearable my eyes set on the horizon, twisted with visions of watermelon women tonguing their signatures across my inner thighs, the flavor of kumquats descending from my lover’s lips.
true, i am greedy.
summer arrives with its ephemeral jewels
succulent peaches, bountiful berries shortlived
freedom ends at the corner of my lip, lest what i
love begs to remain at the border of burning.
with the scent of honeysuckle in my hair
a boi drenched in fallen flowers ripens me ready
drunk with plum wine, the mere
promise of nectar enough to satisfy a whole
darkness of longing. the slow roast of time
descends on all of us, but for this moment, i
live between a fresh kill and a blossoming tree.
no matter. it all matters.
light the joint and
exhale your juicy transgressions into my eager mouth.
meditations on sweetness and other fruits
Ashia Ajani (they/she) is a Black storyteller and environmental educator originally from Denver, CO, Queen City of the Plains and the unceded territory of the Cheyenne, Ute, Arapahoe and Comanche peoples. She is an environmental justice educator with Mycelium Youth Network and co-poetry editor of The Hopper Literary Magazine. They have been published in Frontier Poetry, Exposition Review, Foglifter Press, Them.us and Sierra Magazine, among others. Follow their work at ashiaajani.com.