I see my reflection on the sidewalk
as I walk to my car—the face of a fox
in a puddle of its melted body.
And then again in the electrical lines
as I drive to work—all tilted
after recent storms. There was a time
I stood taller—freshly built muscles
I sculpted, hair I straightened to match
expectations. I’ve grown bored of it all
& deflated: a balloon. Though superficially
loved, so easily and naturally let go. I’ve let
all my balloons go, too, to places
I’ve never aspired to reach. When I look
behind, autocorrect changes back
to Bach. Think of something else
instead, it urges, but when I get home,
the water in the toilet won’t stop flushing.
I’ve still loved one man the whole time
I’ve desperately tried to love someone else.
Self-Portrait of Dating Mid-Twenties
Crystal Stone’s work has appeared or is forthcoming in The Threepenny, Hopkins Review, and Poetry Daily, among others. Her first collection of poetry, Knock-Off Monarch, was released from Dawn Valley Press in December 2018. You can find more at herwebsite www.crystalbstone.com.