because “lost girls” took power from us
but “lost boys” we could say with pride.
because we crouched in the shadows,
imagined food, shared vision, and ate
dripping mangoes to the fill.
because we skedaddled past the murals,
crept by automatic lights as if they were
the eyes of giants,
& the instant the lights clicked awake
we’d take off flying through church halls
as our bridge of shadows suddenly
gave way. we kept happy thoughts
just in case we’d fall.
because we howled at the moon,
fenced with pool noodles,
fought the coming growing-up
with all our happy thoughts
& singing & pranks & rowdiness.
because i built my life on forts and swings
& a playground empire
& a crumbling neverland
& eventually you, too,
told me to grow up.
because everyone else was a teenager
and i, the eldest, still didn’t get what good
this dark passage could possibly offer.
because my happy thoughts are tainted
& i miss when you believed
but dare i say it, i’m happy still.
