93

Tell me I’ll be beautiful when I’m 93 / that I’ll burn with a knowing / that my bones will stop hurting / tell me I’ll finally be beautiful when I go blind / don’t fret / stay beautifully blue, she says, from across the ocean

no smooth young thing, I was born old / no breasts declaring Heaven / they know of their demise, and descend to Hell / it’s better there / it imitates my furnace / my uterus / the one that’ll never fill / the one that bleeds on thighs / leaves trails behind

She tells me I belong next to her / I tell her I belong topless in a jungle / that time is an illusion and timelines don’t exist / that serenity is loud / that love is a choice and I choose to hate myself / that I want to get gone / get lost / come back / and do this thing all over again / only this time / make me beautiful / make me a Los Angeles sunset / take your time / give me wings / an array of things / make me infinite / a sight from eyes to toes / make me, me / only this time / get it right