i wish i had an answer wish i didn’t have demons didn’t always feel like failing i wish i didn’t have a situation was 22 again i wish i was smarter had gone to college i wish i was living life not letting life live me i wish i had your heartbeat memorized like a song by the national wish i didn’t feel everything closing in on me didn’t always cry when i hurt i wish that i could pick lilies for you year round walk to the kitchen right now make you cinnamon rolls i wish i was the earth to you lick your armpits until you laugh i wish i wasn’t losing you to someone that will never love you i love you i wish that my heart was actually an object i could remove from my body i would rip it out & give it to you without hesitation as you sip your hot cup of vanilla biscotti i light a cigarette hazing the room like fog lifting over a cemetery we’ve both seen in a dream but refuse to acknowledge
bones age with each breath
When not traveling on highways all across America, Victor Clevenger spends his days in a madhouse and his nights writing poetry. He lives with his second ex-wife, and together they raise six children in a small town northeast of Kansas City, Missouri. His work has appeared in magazines and journals around the world and in a variety of places online. In 2017, he was nominated for the Best of the Net anthology as well as the Pushcart Prize. His most recent published collections include a split book with Tom Farris titled, Ginger Roots Are Best Taken Orally (EMP, 2018), and A Finger in the Hornets’ Nest (Red Flag Press, 2018).